do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
