How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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