Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
