Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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