You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
