now i know why i became what i already was.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
