Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
