5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
