I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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