be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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