Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
