the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
