franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
