Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
