the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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