Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
