Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
