I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
