what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
