yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I need a burrito and a hug.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
