Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
