I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
