just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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