Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
