If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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