apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
