if only i could text you this smell
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
