ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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