$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
