I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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