I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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