Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
