Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
