So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
