He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
What drink are we having for lunch?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
