I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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