tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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