he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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