we have officially lost it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
