That's when you crack a 10am beer
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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