Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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