mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
