Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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