She is in my trunk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
