she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize