Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
