He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
