this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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