You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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