You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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