It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
