he puts the penis in happiness.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there was a trapeze. enough said
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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